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My boss is constantly criticising the performance and work-style of senior members of the company and I am reluctant to add my agreement. (I don't agree anyway, and think he is just showing his own insecurity.) How do I avoid doing so without annoying him?
A: You seem to have avoided the biggest trap. If you'd as much as implied agreement, you'd have been sunk - forever complicit and never able to question his views.
Even so, it's terribly difficult. The only way that you can avoid the continuing need to dissemble is to get him to cut his criticisms - at least to you. And the only way you can achieve that is by putting it to him straight - or fairly straight, anyway.
Next time he starts to criticise his seniors, try saying something along these line: 'Look, Jake, I like my job and I like working with you, and I want to go on having faith in the company. So please don't tell me all this stuff about management: even if it's all true, there's nothing I can do about it and it's just going to rattle me. Hope you understand?'
You may have to say the same sort of thing a couple of times, but it should help. And with any luck, he won't take mortal offence.
In the longer term, he doesn't seem to me the sort of boss you want to go on working for.
Comments
Jonty Faulkner - 16-May-08
This is a scenario that unfortunately almost all of us have experienced or can relate to and is undeniably a difficult situation to be put in. I am surprised, though, by the final sentence. Whilst getting a senior colleague to change their behaviour is difficult, it is our experience at 2WayTrust that if businesses performance is brought into the equation people are more likely to take on board difficult feedback
What disappoints me about the advice you’re giving here is that you suggest giving up on Jake at some stage and finding a job elsewhere. Surely the problem is that HE has given up on his seniors – and that the best advice one can give is not to walk away, but to find a means of having a real discussion about what he thinks is going wrong.
It’s not just Jake’s “seniors” who are under-performing; he is as well, by not saying anything to them and instead offloading onto someone who can’t do anything about it.
Jonty Faulkner – External Relations Manager
2WayTrust
0044 (0)1822 880317
www.2waytrust.com
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